One of the most important things I have learned through applying the teachings of A Course in Miracles is to be the truest expression of myself. Lisa and Bill are ALWAYS encouraging this in all of us. So I am going to S-T-R-E-T-C-H outside of my comfort zone, and share some details about my “story” and how I came to be what I call myself now, an abundance teacher.
It has always been so important to me to be liked and one of the reasons that I struggle with this blog article is that I feel that if I tell you the truth about my path, that people will think I am REALLY weird. So I have been trying to write this and to “be spiritual”, to say the “right” thing and it just doesn’t work. Because it’s fake, because I don’t ever want to pretend anything.
So here goes, this is straight from my heart to yours.
It is my greatest desire to inspire others to break free from fear, to shift and see only love, and to live a life filled with a love of God and to share their light with the whole world…
Ok, are you ready? I used to only care about being RICH, I mean, RICH. I used to have a career before I had my children and I made a lot of money. When I got married, my husband made A LOT of money in a short period of time, like over 5 million dollars. We bought our dream home for 1.6 million dollars in a gated community, I drove a Lexus, I had TWO Nannies, yup, you read that right, two! I could buy anything I wanted at any time… and so on, and so on.
When we drove through the gates of our new neighborhood for the first time, I made a CD with the theme song from “The Apprentice”… Do you remember that song, “Money, Money, Moneeey… Moooooooooneeeeey! It’s almost cathartic to admit it!
I had three kids, and two of them had the label of “special needs”… I felt like a victim. And I constantly had people tell me that my life was so hard and they wondered how I could possibly go on. My son, who had severe depression, anxiety and OCD, was suicidal. I will never forget the day that he threw himself onto the hood of my car as I was driving down our huge driveway, and begged me to run him over.
Amidst all of this chaos, I just started praying. That was huge, because I was a lapsed Catholic, and I truly believed that if there was a God, he never would let my child suffer like this, how could he let me suffer like this, and he gave my other son Down syndrome… so why would I ever have any faith.
One day, I just got down on my knees, next to my bed and I asked God “If you really exist, I want you to literally rain down on all of us.”
Then guess what happened???
We lost it all! The house, the car, the nannies, the company, jewelry, savings, our entire retirement, even my damn fancy bicycle that I had to sell.
Then I went in the opposite direction and I decided to give my whole life over to God, and I found a very strict spiritual teacher and I was taught that the only way for me to find God was to renounce every material thing and want NOTHING! I became immersed in guilt and shame and was told that I was not worthy to have a relationship with God, but I was supposed to believe that this teacher was at a much higher level than me, that they had the connection with God and I could only reach God through them… I was taught that I was worthless, and many of my friends and family turned away from me because they felt I had become fanatical, and they were right.
So you can imagine, when I found out about A Course in Miracles I resonated so much with these teachings.
I can honestly say that through this work, in finding A Course in Miracles and doing these programs, that I found EXACTLY what I was looking for: Myself! I now understand that I created ALL of it. I brought these experiences to myself so that I could awaken and I have nothing but gratitude for every single moment of it. It took me falling that low, to bring me to the truth, I am worthy, I am a light in this world and I have so much goodness and love to share, AND SO DO YOU!!!
I have truly and finally let the past go. This quote from the course sums up how I choose to see it now:
“How can you who are so holy suffer? All your past except it’s beauty is gone, and nothing is left but a blessing. I have saved all your kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. I have purified them of the errors that hid their light, and kept them for you in their own perfect radiance. They are beyond destruction and beyond guilt. They came from the Holy Spirit within you, and we know what God created is eternal.” (T.5.IV.8:1,2,3,4,5,6).
Isn’t that beautiful, and it is true, for you, for me, for all of us.
So this path has taken me full circle, and what I realized is that it IS ok to live in abundance, and I’m not talking about just with money, I’m talking about living in a place of abundance in relationships, in our jobs, in our faith, and in every area of our lives, including having an abundance of peace!
Do you want to know my secret, how I left all my fear of money behind?
I STARTED GIVING MONEY AWAY!
Yup, that’s what I said, I started to tithe and it is the single most powerful tool I have found to give up all fear of money.
“How is that possible?” you ask? How could giving money away when you feel like you have almost NONE, help you to overcome your fear of having no money! Well that’s what tithing DOES! And it has brought me to a place of complete trust in God.
It is an amazing process and it starts with giving 10% of all money that comes to me back to God, in other words, to where I am spiritually fed, which for me, is the Teachers of God Foundation. I acknowledge God in every penny that comes my way and when I tithe, I just release it for it’s absolute highest good. It literally feels like giving money to God, putting it into the flow to help others to experience this same kind of transformation and freedom.
What I have found now is that God is providing everything that I need, I trust Him completely. What tithing has done for me is it helped me to give up my “attachment” to money and live in total trust in God. Acknowledging that he is taking care of me and my children and all of us, in every moment.
If you would like to hear more about my journey into abundance through tithing I invite you to listen to a radio interview I did with Lisa a few weeks back on her Unity FM Living in Joy radio show. Here is the link to that episode:
The Teachers of God Foundation will also soon be offering a new online course on Abundance… stay tuned as this will be launching in the next few months!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and I am so honored to be able to share this with all of you, my mighty companions.
I love you,
Judy> Please feel free to share your thoughts on any of the above in the blog comment area below! <