A Course in Miracles teaches us that we have asked for all that we experience in our lives.
“I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I have asked for, and receive as I have asked.”
That statement has always pissed me off, producing an argumentative inner-teenager reaction in me. It went something like:
“Are you kidding me right now? Seriously? I did NOT ask for negative experiences! I didn’t ask for sickness, for heartache, for financial lack, for loss of loved ones, for conflicted relationships! WTF? How can you even say that? That is so unfair! I know what I asked for, I know what my prayers have been, what I have said affirmations about, what my vision boards have looked like, what intentions I have set. They were the opposite of those things! This is BULLSHIT!”
Yep, even growing up in a Unity church, with a New Age, metaphysical mom, practicing visualization meditations in Sunday School and manifesting parking spaces during grocery shopping trips; even after decades of studying metaphysics, including Divine laws such as the law of attraction; after being a student of ACIM for many years, and a teacher, minister, and counselor of its philosophy, I still found myself having that response.
But something has been happening to me lately, a deeper realization, a cosmic speed-up, an understanding that I find difficulty arguing with now even when I want to. I am seeing evidence of it too clearly.
They say hindsight is 20/20, and as I look back at the way things have gone in my life, I am now seeing with much greater clarity how this has occurred. I am realizing that what I believe establishes what I expect, and what I expect is what happens.
What I hold in my mind as a belief is what ends up playing out in my life in the world. Every time. Period. The End.
I was planning to go on a vacation recently, and as much as I was looking forward to it, I also had a lot of anxiety and fear of the possibility of events unfolding in a particular way based upon past experience.
In particular, when I have gone away with more than one person, I often end up having difficulty with feeling left out and /or ignored, and it has been painful. So, because I have had challenges in the past, I deliberately worked with my thoughts beforehand, in order to change the expectation I was holding. I was embarking on a two-part vacation with two different groups of people whom I love very much, and I really wanted it to go well. Still, I was aware of a feeling of trepidation around what would happen.
I noticed that for the initial phase of each trip, I saw a marked positive difference in comparison with those I had taken in the past–improvement in my feelings of integration with my people, in my mood, and in my engagement in and enjoyment of what I was doing.
But then something eventually occurred in each of my two holidays – I couldn’t really even identify what – that triggered my old, fearful belief, and I began to allow those anxious thoughts and fear-based expectations to take hold in my mind. Kind of like,
“See? This is what always happens to me.”
And my mind responded by firing up all of those tired-ass stories of what had taken place on previous occasions, gathering all of its “evidence” of things happening in the present situation, and abra-ca-fricking-dabra, my immensely powerful creative thoughts manifested into reality, and there I was, on the rack, in the Pit of Despair; in tears, all boo-boo-kitty, feeling like I’m not important, not included, and not wanted, and should maybe just go eat worms.
Thankfully, in both instances, my Course-based muscle-memory eventually kicked in, and I was able to begin a practice of forgiveness of my perception of others and the situation. I asked to see it differently, and in addition to doing so, I included a new part to this process based upon my recent study of David Hawkins’ work. I consciously canceled the old fearful belief system I previously had of feeling unimportant, unwanted, and left out in groups of people, reminding myself instead that
“I am an infinite being, pure, whole, innocent, and perfect as spirit, and I do not buy into that belief.”
As I did this, things in my experience almost immediately began to shift toward the better. It became very clear to me that I had made the whole thing happen with my fearful beliefs, which had located me in a vibrational frequency of fear.
From that place, my experience of the world became the one I was most afraid of, because that was the lens through which I was looking. I inhabited a particular energy field, and attracted into it the experience that vibrationally matched it.
It had nothing to do with the people I was with, or how I was being treated, or whether people wanted to be with me or not.
The epilogue to this story is that some time later after I returned from vacation, a memory came to me that I had heard my mother express to me and about me to other people many times during my childhood.
From as early as I can remember, I heard that I always had trouble playing with more than one friend at a time, because I never had siblings close to my age, and so “someone always ends up feeling left out.” Someone? Really? (I’m pretty sure I am someone.)
So I have carried the belief in my mind for almost a lifetime that I have difficulty with feeling left out in groups of people – and, go figure – that’s what happened in my reality.
Remembering that was amazing in its ability to affirm and validate for me that I have the power to reprogram that belief system, and thus change my future experiences! (Now of course I feel like I need to go on another vacation – like, next week – you know, just to practice.)
But what usually happens to us when our fearful beliefs manifest into our experience?
Instead of being able to see it from the empowered point of view of having created it, and thus also then having the power to change it, we instead project it outward, looking at everyone and everything as the cause of our dissatisfaction, pain, mistrust, discomfort, hurt, disturbance, conflict, and lack of peace.
But it is not everyone or everything. It’s us. It can really suck to hear that – like, right out loud, I get that – hence my original rant mentioned in the beginning of this post. But the reason we resist it is because our ego minds take it on as guilt that we did this to ourselves, and it is the guilt that we can’t tolerate, and so we project it onto others.
In fact, it is our unconscious guilt over our belief that we have separated from our Creator – not that we ever could in reality, but that we believe that we have – that causes us to torture ourselves by creating these painful situations in the first place. It is our attempt to punish ourselves for something that we never did, but that on an unconscious level we absolutely believe we are guilty of.
But guilt is a choice we don’t have to make. We can choose love instead. We can choose to see it differently – as a reminder, a warning bell.
As A Course in Miracles advises us,
“Beware of the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated.”
As soon as we become aware that we are having an experience we don’t want to be having, as soon as our intuitive guidance system informs us that we are now in the process of creating something we don’t want, as soon as we tune into feeling crappy – as the Course also tells us, we can choose again.
It is in that moment that we can say the shortest, simplest forgiveness prayer the Course provides us with –
“I will forgive and this will disappear.”
I am finding that following forgiveness with the process of deliberately mentally canceling whatever belief system I have bought into (hating a job, difficulty in relationships, lack of financial abundance, illness, depression, anxiety, whatever), and reminding myself that I am an infinite, innocent being as I was created, and that I no longer buy into that old belief, and then releasing it –is immeasurably helpful and effective.
As we change our minds, as we endeavor to choose love instead of fear; as we work to release our belief in anything that we find is not serving us; as we forgive others and ourselves for what we haven’t done, remembering our innocence, our Divinity, our wholeness and perfection, we reclaim our creative power as the gift of God that is our birthright, and with joy and gratitude, take ownership of what is unfolding in our lives.
Thank you for being here and bearing witness to my experience.
I would love to hear from you…
Question: Did any part of this video or message speak to or resonate with you? What is your experience with seeing your life experience reflect limiting beliefs you are holding in your mind? You can leave a comment by clicking here.
I love you immensely.