Letting Down Your Guard So The Thief Can Come and Take Away Your Life

By Lisa Natoli

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My favorite topics of all-time-ever are healing, abundance, transformation, mindset and A Course in Miracles.
To me all five of these topics are the same One Subject because they all have to do with bringing the invisible into the visible – and there is nothing more exciting to me than that!
I’ve spent almost 30 years using my own life as “a science lab” experimenting with spiritual ideas to see if they work.
Can we really heal the sick and raise the dead?
Is it possible to go from no money to overflowing abundance?
Do we really have the power and ability of God to dissolve depression, sadness, pain, anxiety, fear, shame, guilt, disease and limitation (as A Course in Miracles says we do)?
Is perfect joy and perfect peace available to us as a consistent experience?
And more importantly, if the answer is “yes” to these questions  .. THEN HOW?
This has been my focus and fascination for almost 30 years since I first came upon A Course in Miracles in 1992.
I’ve tried all sort of different methods.
I did A Course in Miracles workbook lessons for about 20 years in a row.
But I was still struggling. I still had no money. And that was followed by years of body symptoms and sickness.
What the hell?
No one was more devoted to God than me. No one wanted peace and joy more than me. No one was more ready to serve and be helpful and be a light in this world.
I was all in! So why was it not happening?
I would experience peace and happiness, but then I would lose it and be back to old habits, self-defeating thoughts and debilitating emotions.
Why was I still experiencing pain, doubt, guilt, anger, irritation?
I did not know.
But what I DID KNOW was that there was “something” in me that could not and would not give up.
And I am grateful for that – grateful for this “something” in me that kept me on this path even when nothing seemed to be changing. Even when it appeared that things were getting worse.
And then in fall 2018, I don’t know exactly what happened except that “Lisa got out of the way”.

I LET DOWN MY GUARD.

I suddenly didn’t care what happened to the Lisa-body or the Lisa-life or the Lisa-bank-account or the Lisa-accomplishments.
I wanted only the peace and joy of God.
It was a moment of sincerity.
There wasn’t really even any trust in there. I was just tired of the spiritual path. Tired of trying to “get somewhere”.
For so long I had been trying “to reach enlightenment” and “to wake up” and “to heal” and I was tired of all of that.
I just wanted a simple happy life.
I suddenly didn’t care about enlightenment or awakening or healing.
I didn’t care about teaching or inspiring or helping people.
I wanted only to be free: free to be like a child, joyful, expressive, active, playful.
Free from the past and free from the future.
And I realized: that’s always been available to me!
hahahaha!
O The Paradox! When I stopped caring about enlightenment, I was suddenly enlightened!
What I had been searching/seeking for was always available to me!
I was awake. I was as God created me, all those years! All that time!
I was always whole and healed and perfect, with the peace of God shining in me.
I could rest and relax. I could do all the things I had been putting off while trying to wake up: I could enjoy. I could dance. I could sing. I could write. I could read books.
Or I could do nothing! I was free.
I had been putting off ALIVENESS and SPONTANEITY while I was seriously tried to wake up and reach enlightenment. haha!

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