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You are a healer, healed and whole.
Here is a video from one of our Zoom calls in The 40-Day Program for Transformation. You can sign up for that anytime, and it’s still always free. This video is with Ted who has cancer and asked a question about healing. I love this guy so much. Watch what happens. It is a perfect demonstration of the immediacy of healing. Ted is not sick, even with a diagnosis. You’ll see what I mean in the video. He’s the light of the world. Totally present. Totally grateful. Totally ALL THERE.
I used to wonder about the sentences from A Course in Miracles “There is no order of difficulty in miracles” and “There is no order of difficulty in healing.”
Does A Course in Miracles really mean this?
And then of course the question would arise in my mind: “How?”
And the I got sick in January 2013 with flu-like viral symptoms, which was later diagnosed as an incurable autoimmune disease. The symptoms for the first couple of years were vomiting out of the blue (with no advance notice), sweating, dry mouth, dry eyes, irritated eyes, red blood-shot eyes, blurry vision, painful eyes, major eye light sensitivity, mucus, congestion, difficulty speaking, difficulty seeing.
I’ve told the story many times so you may have heard it already but I tried every possible thing to heal myself, including deciding to stop trying to heal myself. Nothing worked. I tried diets, supplements, colonics, raw food, celery juice, no gluten, no dairy. I did that for a few years. When that didn’t work I tried healing the mind to heal the body. I looked at my “irritations” since that was how my physical symptoms were showing up. I was looking at where I was “congested” and “stuffed up” and “clogged”. I was asking myself “What am I not seeing” and “What do I need to see?”
I did all that, and not much changed. I went looking for where forgiveness was needed, where I was holding onto grievances – and I was willing to let my grievances and attack thoughts go.
I tried “removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence which is my natural inheritance.”
And nothing really changed. I kept thinking (for years) “What am I doing wrong?”
I was 100 percent devoted to A Course in Miracles, to God. I was 100% available to help, heal, serve, give. I was willing to do anything, go anywhere, give all my stuff away. I wanted nothing more than to be a light in this world and to be part of this great awakening
So … WTF.
Then I decided to stop trying to heal and that didn’t really work either because I was still in pain, still with dry mouth, still with blurry eyesight and congestion. Every day I couldn’t escape these symptoms because they were in my experience all the time. All I wanted was to get out of the body, escape from it. It was like being in prison, in the body.
It was strange because I felt like “I” was inside the body and “I – the Self – was perfectly fine – and “I” was unaffected by all this body activity but looking back now I see that was all concept.
I was in hell and wanted out of it!
And then in the fall of 2018, when I was in tremendous pain wishing it would go away, my husband Bill asked me: “Could you just love the experience if I could LOVE the experience completely and WELCOME IT to stay as long as it wants for the rest of your life.”
It was a light bulb moment
The answer was YES. I realized that was the missing ingredient: LOVE.
I wasn’t loving myself as I fought myself to heal. I wasn’t loving when I wished the body was different. I wasn’t loving when I wanted the situation to be different.
And that’s how I came to know there really is no order of difficulty in miracles and no order of difficulty in healing.
Jesus in A Course in Miracles says: “If you are sick you do not love yourself” and “to love oneself is to heal oneself.”
This was the answer for me. To love myself. To love everything exactly as is – TO WELCOME IT TO STAY AS LONG AS IT WANTS. Thank you Bill.
I realized that all those body symptoms didn’t have the power to limit me in any way. I wasn’t weak, but strong. I wasn’t powerless, but powerful. I wasn’t sick, but whole.
And I made a decision for aliveness, joy, gratitude and the peace of God.
And with all my focus on LOVE and LOVING MYSELF, I experienced no order of difficulty in miracles and difficulty in healing.
Enjoy the video.
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