Light is the New Orange: Busting Out of the Prison of Ego Sabotage

By Kelly Russell

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Yo, My Love Chain Gang!

It’s Kelly Russell with the Teachers of God Foundation, and I’m here to talk to you today about the ways in which our ego minds imprison us by sabotaging our efforts to live the thought system of A Course in Miracles. Or, at least mine does – and based upon what I have heard from a number of my clients just this past week, I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this here particular jail. (Although the ego is telling me every hour of every day that I am, of course – all part of the separation service, ma’am.)

I have spoken to several people lately who have had the experience of upping their spiritual game – perhaps engaging in a deeper way with the text or workbook lessons of A Course in Miracles, dedicating time to daily meditation or prayer, or a more focused forgiveness practice – followed by what looks like negative things happening in their lives.  I have noticed this at times in my own life, too, and it seems pretty counterintuitive. Shouldn’t our lives be looking hotter and sexier because we’re getting down with our Spirit-selves? WTF?

That’s my cue to blog it out into the light, so let’s bust out the evidence and let the Truth become Self-evident.

If you have been studying and practicing A Course in Miracles for any length of time, you have no doubt noted some of the amazing benefits that are inherent in adopting its philosophy. (Either that, or you have trashed it and run screaming into the night, in which case you probably aren’t reading this anyway.)

If the Course is your path, you know it. It resonates in the bones of your being. It blooms in you, as an expanded sense of peace, of love, of joy; the awesome feeling of having found the Truth, the reassurance that you have a Guide, the comfort of hearing that you are innocent – even if it’s not quite believable to you all of the time – and… if you’re like me, experiencing that gigantic, all-encompassing,  cosmic aha moment of, “God! No wonder everything is so f*cked up!”

(Having said that, I should mention that if you have an aversion to colorful language, please feel free to stop reading here, as I am probably not your teacher. My style is irreverently reverent and spiritually sassy, and my words sometimes shade unapologetically to the bluer hues of earthy. Just fyi.)

But there is another part of our minds that does NOT want to feel peace, or love, or joy. Our ego mind actively resists them. Although the ego does not understand or know anything, that never stops it from going full crazy on whatever it senses may threaten our allegiance to it. That includes our spiritual practice – especially if that practice directly renounces favorite ego pastimes like judgment, guilt and condemnation – you know – the Big 3 that get us into prison in the first place.

When you make the decision to love-tunnel your way to freedom – to listen to the Voice for God – the ego does not retreat quietly and obediently into the back of the paddywagon when you hand the keys to your will over to Spirit.

Nope, it pretty much actually does the opposite. It retaliates, sometimes by going full enraged toddler-in-the-grocery-store-meets-hormonal-adolescent tantrum. Kicking, screaming, and trying to climb over the seat and wrestle control of your mind. Or at least run you off the road.

Just so you know.

This is not something you need to be afraid of – although your ego will attempt to use fear to keep your will united with its own.

The Truth of you is that you are a precious, beloved child of God – perfect, whole, and innocent. You are the Light of the World. You are made of pure love, and you possess every characteristic and quality of the Divine.

The ego does not want you to know this. The whole purpose for its illusory being is mind control – to be the boss of you by keeping you in a state of fear – but not really recognizing it as fear, so you won’t make the connection between it and the ego. More like fear…ish.

A Course in Miracles teaches, “The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.” So, basically, fear is fake. The Course then goes on to say, “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” (T-In.2:1-4)

Which, loosely translated, means that God is love, you are an extension of God. You are made of love, by love, for love. Therefore, God is real, and infinite, and is everything. By extension, so are you. You are all-powerful, because you have the Love of God running through the transmission lines of your being.

Conversely, the ego is made of fear, by fear, for fear. It is, therefore, not real, doesn’t exist, and is nothing.

That means it is powerless. Except for the power you give to it.

That is what the ego depends on – that you don’t ever realize that. That its power is coming from you. That as soon as you recognize that, and cut off the supply of your allegiance to it, its power ceases to exist. As you connect to the Source of your true power – the I AM which is the Truth of you, you will see your life becoming more beautiful, radiant, peaceful, fun, abundant, inspired, joyful, and FREE.

Sensing this threat to itself, the ego mind will attempt to derail your journey toward freedom. It does not want you to get too close to the open door of Light, because your mind would be illuminated with the Truth, and you would renounce the ego immediately and walk right through.

As long as you are afraid, depressed, resentful, angry, attacking, sad, jealous, anxious, feel like a victim, or embody any other expression of egoic thought, you are being imprisoned by fear and the ego can relax into its normal level of suspicion and hypervigilance.

As long as you are being a good inmate, obeying the rules and not stepping out of line or threatening the authority, the guards might relax a little, throw you a carton of cigarettes here or an extra five minutes on the conjugal visit clock there.

But when you start that jailhouse rock of getting happy – spending time hanging with Spirit, listening to your Inner Teacher, surrendering your will and trusting; experiencing peace, loving thoughts, practicing forgiveness; expressing as your true self, cultivating acceptance, having gratitude, and feeling your worth – the ego goes on red alert. It’s like a prison break. As it senses you running toward freedom, alarms go off, searchlights glare – and those same ego guards that cut you some slack yesterday are chasing you with guns drawn today, ready to throw you back into…

Wait for it…

Solitary confinement.

Aka separation.

As long as we believe the ego’s judgment that we are guilty and deserving of a life sentence, we will resign ourselves to that cell of littleness and powerlessness, believing we are alone.

So we “forget” to engage in those endeavors that keep us connected to the Voice of Spirit. We don’t make time for our spiritual practice. We talk ourselves out of forgiveness. We don’t ask for guidance. Or we refuse to hear it. We listen to the ego’s interpretation of everything from A Course in Miracles to what someone really meant when they said this or that. Those are the times when the ego is, as the Course refers to it, “suspicious at best”.

But sometimes it pulls out the big guns, like on the heels of our stepping up our spiritual work. The sh*t starts to feel like it’s straight-up hitting the fan. Problems crop up seemingly out of nowhere – relationships hit the skids, our anxiety gets jacked up to number 11, finances take a dive, we have a new symptom in the body, we lose our job, we have to find a new home… whatever. They are all the same – they are the tricks the ego uses to scare us into submission. Its fondest hope is that we will just abandon ourselves and our spiritual practice, decide that the devil we know is better than the Spirit that knows, and resign ourselves to a life sentence in the ego’s Big House.

But the Jesus, Judge and Jury of A Course in Miracles has a few choice words to say about prison, asking us to remind ourselves:

“My chains are loosened. I can drop them off merely by desiring to do so. The prison door is open. I can leave simply by walking out. Nothing holds me in this world. Only my wish to stay keeps me a prisoner. I would give up my insane wishes and walk into the sunlight at last.”(W-p1r.57/31)

“I made up the prison in which I see myself. All I need do is recognize this and I am free. I have deluded myself into believ­ing it is possible to imprison the Son of God.”(W-p1r.57/32)

“I see everything upside down, and my thoughts are the opposite of truth. I see the world as a prison for God’s Son. It must be, then, that the world is really a place where he can be set free.”(W-p1r.57/33)

In other words, whatever we think is happening in this world is a prison of our own making. We make it real with our judgement, and we recognize its unreality by remembering who we are. It is in this remembering that we reclaim our freedom and walk into the light.

There is no prison, no ego outside of our minds, and it has no governance over us that we do not give to it.

As JBro reassures us, “Fear seems to live in darkness, and when you are afraid you have stepped back. Let us join then join quickly in an instant of light, and it will be enough to remind you that your goal is light. Truth has rushed to meet you since you called upon it. If you knew Who walks beside you on the way that you have chosen, fear would be impossible.”

Thank you so much for walking into the Light with me today! Best prison break ever. I love you more than a cake with a file of forgiveness baked into it. I have such gratitude for being with you in the freedom of Truth, knowing that there is nothing to fear.

If you related to anything in this blog and would like to leave me a comment below, please know that I love them, and I read every one.


Join me for the Pure Presence Summit in September. You don’t want to miss it. Grab your FREE ticket here.

See you on the outside.

Kelly

Rev Kelly Russell,

The Rock Your Joy Coach

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Judy
Judy
3 months ago

Loved it! Your sassy irreverent style speaks to me! Great read! Thank you!

Carmen
Carmen
3 months ago

Amazing blog, just exact what I need to remember that I am in charge of the power. Thank you
 
Carmen

Lori Evangelisto
Lori Evangelisto
3 months ago

That is an awesome article! Your authenticity is electric! I have the same type of spunky way about me it enables me to reach people that otherwise wouldn’t be reached. I say it’s spiritual with a touch of sass! Honestly I love your style and am on my own journey! I am almost done with the 40 day journey and I’m walking in the light! But boy is the ego trying to slam me down! No more power to that liar! I am walking this earth as the light and love of God! With all that is going on in… Read more »

Serge Ayotte
Serge Ayotte
3 months ago

Kelly!
Thank you, this blog as been what I needed this week… Just started a new work, and after +5 months of being able to study ACIM and changing myself (re-JOINING my Self) it as been scary the last few days of “thinking” I was sliding back, just to read your post and see it was ego trying to scare me…
Thank you and Blessings!
Serge

Julie Bolwell
Julie Bolwell
3 months ago

Thanks Kelly. Great article which really spoke to me.about how many times I am giving away power to ego lies.

Anna Therien
Anna Therien
3 months ago

Wow. That was amazing. Arrow in the bullseye kinda amazing. And hilarious. Right up my alley. <3 Thank you.

Shelly Ellis
Shelly Ellis
3 months ago

Thank you Kelly. It took 15 years with ACIM but I finally can say and mean I have no use and see no value in all of my self imposed limitations. Hopefully we are gonna make and maintain our jailbreak to Freedom. Your writing really resonated with me, and I found it very inspiring. Thanks again. Shelly

Bettya Saleh
Bettya Saleh
3 months ago

Your timing is amazing! After months of having managed to look my ego in the eye, fear started creeping in just this week. This article was a lifesaver! Luv, B.

Sherry
3 months ago

Thanks Kelly. So on time. A great reminder of trust and recognizing the impotence of fear.

June
June
3 months ago

Kelly, you make me laugh….think…..love myself more every time I see/read you. Gratitude from my heart light to yours and All.

Rona
Rona
3 months ago

Your style spoke to me lol! I’m so grateful my mind has awakened so I can actually hear what’s being taught now. And apply it!

Lisa
Lisa
3 months ago

Divine perfect timing for your mess-age Kelly!
I so needed to hear this right now……
❤️ Lisa

Beth Pagano
Beth Pagano
3 months ago

uhm…. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!?!?! That. Was. BANANAS! EPIC. I am now officially a stalker… I mean follower for life!!! B R I L L I A N T.

Meredith
Meredith
3 months ago

Thanks for the reminder that though the ego has a lot of tricks up its sleeve to make suffering seem real, the light is always there to save us, to bring loving rest.

Amy Borel
Amy Borel
3 months ago

Excellent as always! It was reminding me of a particular time when I was progressing with the work I have been called to do, and out of the blue physical symptoms would show up-acute and painful ones at that! This post reminded me that yes, the ego at best is suspicious and at worst vicious. But there is no need to worry about progressing and how the ego mind might react because that is all part of the process-at least for some of us! Yet, as I moved through whatever arose and met it with remembering the Truth, self love,… Read more »

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
3 months ago

Hi Kelly, namaste, I enjoyed your colorful blog and video. Both presented precious perfect reMinders, reorientation and valuable insights to remember, refresh and renew. And yes, I can relate to the ego eruptions, disruptions and sometimes seemingly hopeless, punishing blows, nor could see why or ways out.The Light has become clearer and clearer still and I appreciate all the Help we receive and can offer, such as yours today. Thank you for your Light and beautiful encouragement, blessings, Love, Light, Joy and Peace, Elizabeth

Brenda nadon
Brenda nadon
3 months ago

The ego is Power-less, when not connected to its Source…big Me haha, ha. I’ve been really letting my powerful light essence run the wrong belief system in my mind. It really does involve the “fip of a switch”–that holy instant of ahaw!, I’m learning to “switch” more often. Thank you Kelly for your words:)

Elizabeth
Elizabeth
3 months ago

Hi again Kelly, namaste! Another important discovery, unmasking is the belief not just in the ego, but in sin and guilt that stems from the belief in it and judgement on self for it. Through the Course, this has come up and have found it essential for all the rest to fall into place. Today”a blog and video helped me get in touch with that, again, with more compassion, willingness and sanity! Thank you, blessings, Love and Light Elizabeth

Toni
Toni
3 months ago

I loved it, loved it, loved it!! You do bring your Light to these seemingly dark areas. Your humor is a gift and I am so grateful to you for your willingness to be so authentic. Everything was right on, and I can’t wait to share this with my Course friends who are going through their own version of hell, questioning everything. But that’s what we need to do, right? You said it so beautifully.
Thank you,
Toni

Shelley Brennan
Shelley Brennan
3 months ago

Totally spoke to me. Thank you Kelly. Bless you. xoxo

dennis
dennis
3 months ago

so so true. Keeping it real ! I am also having some of those moments of everything is so …. (although now that I look at it, many things are much better than ever having followed the path) at times I have even shied away from going too deep for fear of that stuff blowing up even more. May His Grace deliver us all

Shaya
Shaya
3 months ago

So what I needed to hear as I have been living this exact situation you’re describing: upping my spiritual game and noticing the prison guards answering to Ego are desperately trying to wrestle me back into my cell. Thank you thank you for reminding me of Truth and that actually – this lashback is to be expected. But not real. <3<3<3
 

Last edited 3 months ago by Shaya
antje f.molt
antje f.molt
3 months ago

Just what I needed to be reminded of! Thank you from all of me!
p.s. Love ‘the colour’ in your language.

Zoleka
Zoleka
3 months ago

Precisely what I needed right now! Loved the humour in your writing and so grateful for the practical advice you offered. This was the first article I read from you, Kelly, and I’m sure I’ll be back for more 😍

Sagy
Sagy
3 months ago

Dear Rev. Kelly,
Thank You Very Much for this Video.
You remind us that we should never listen to false thoughts of the ego and we continue to deepen our connection to Holy Spirit daily and to the connect only to the Truth of what we are:
Pure Light. Pure Love.
God Bless You !!!
Kind Regards,
Sagy

Eve Depew
Eve Depew
3 months ago

Thank you Kelly! Right on time, as usual, when I ask to see differently, spirit brings me just what I need. This time, it was your funny but factual article! Perfect! I love you so very much!

Maginel Galt
Maginel Galt
3 months ago

Thanks so much for this helpful reflection- I will hold onto it!

Janet Woelfle
Janet Woelfle
3 months ago

Humor seems to be shared by the Holy Spirit, the Christ and when we are in our right minds, us! Because we forgot to laugh, maybe we need to cultivate an ACIM and the Humorous Cures-for-What-Ails-You class. Thank you for your pithy, truthful wisdoms.
Cheers,
Janet

Kat
Kat
3 months ago

So awesome! And my language which really brought it home! Thanks for your light!

Ian Woolcomb
Ian Woolcomb
3 months ago

Hi Kelly, your blog is just what I needed to hear at this precise moment. Thank you so much! I know that my ego is freaking out and performing all sorts of tricks and monkey mind flips to nudge me off course and while I know what’s going on… it still ain’t easy so you appeared just when I needed it. Your irreverent reverence is perfect for me too. I totally resonate with that ‘cos it’s where I’m at. So once again thank you teacher and fellow traveller on the path for helping me out and making me laugh. It’s… Read more »

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Vicki
Vicki
3 months ago

Thanks so much, Kelly! Your words are exactly what I needed to hear.💝

Bob
Bob
3 months ago

Hi Kelly, thanks for the pitch. I’m a newly. Done the workbook and read the text. This time I’m doing the workbook with Lisa and am on lessen 60. I did Lisa’s 40 day course. I have been sober in A.A. for 41 years. I do take prescribed meds for anxiety and that is my egos go to to make me feel guilty and weak. I was prescribed them when my daughter was homeless on the street shooting heroin. I’m happy to say she is now clean and sober over 2 years and doing well. Unfortunately, I still have the… Read more »

Katy
Katy
3 months ago

Kelly you have such a way with words, you lift me up and l run to the light. 🙏👍

Laurena Davis
Laurena Davis
3 months ago

Great! Love the analogies 🙂 3>

Wendy Collura
Wendy Collura
3 months ago

I love your writing. Just brilliant! In every meaning of that word.
You do ACIM personal coaching?
What’s your fee?

Tamara Mallory
Tamara Mallory
3 months ago

Great post Kelly, and just what I needed to hear! That forgiveness file is my ticket to the sunlight,and I’m using it! Thank you!

ERIN LYNNE GREEN
ERIN LYNNE GREEN
3 months ago

Thank you Kelly for reassuring me once again that the power is in my choice to choose once again with the help of HS and Our true Source. Once I make the switch to listen for the still quiet awareness, forgiveness flows and I am grateful. I love your down to earth style and sense of humor! We cannot forget to laugh!

INES
INES
2 months ago

LOVE YOU

Angela
Angela
1 month ago

Oh my gosh, we totally speak the same language. I loved reading your post about our prison break causing the guards to chase us with guns. It’s so the way I’m feeling right now too. Last night I was feeling quite peaceful despite a whole bunch of reasons not to & full physical symptoms of anxiety broke out in my upper chest like the ego was SCREAMING ON ITS DEATH BED lol. I posted about it in the fb group I’m in – Living a Course in Miracles Audio Book Club & someone suggested your blog. I believe it’s a… Read more »