Share this Post
Do you feel like you’re rocking your life? Are you happy with where you are, the results you are getting, what you are accomplishing, the things you are giving your time and energy to? Do you feel mostly centered and peaceful? If you have intentions or goals, are you making progress toward them? Or do you find yourself in resistance to doing the things that you know would help you feel happier, more energized, accomplished, successful, good about yourself, calmer, in alignment, on purpose, and like a Jedi Master Rock Star?
And how do you react to that resistance? Do you beat yourself up about not doing whatever it is you’re not doing? I know I do.
If your answer is a big “Hell yeah!” then you’re in the right blog – this here is a meeting of the Resistance Resistance. And before we begin, let me give a heads-up here – if you are someone who (omg, I’m on a roll – I almost said, “is in resistance to”) objects to the occasional use of cusswords, please feel free to stop reading here, because I am probably not your teacher. My style is irreverently reverent and spiritually sassy, and my language unapologetically shades to the colorful side of earthy – so just fyi.
So, wtf is up with our resistance to doing stuff that’s good for us?
Whether it is engaging in exercising, meditation or spiritual practice, eating healthy nourishing food, expressing gratitude, clearing our spaces of stuff we will never use or fit into again, forgiving people we are holding in judgment, paying off our debt and gaining control of our finances, even when we’ve done these things before and can recall feeling all of the planets aligning and hearing the music of the spheres and sworn that this time we were going to keep it this way, dammit… we persist in resisting.
If we are not doing what we want to be doing with our lives, or are in situations or relationships we do not want to be in, we resist taking the action that could move us into an improved experience. We remain in unhappy circumstances, jobs, marriages, blaming other people and making excuses for why we can’t change anything.
Or perhaps it’s the BIG dreams – the bucket list stuff, living our passion, making right livelihood out of what we love, taking on some huge endeavor, challenging ourselves to ride some rocket of our hearts desire into the stratosphere – and we are sabotaging our own efforts (that’s my own conditioned self’s particular jam.)
Resistance takes a lot of forms. We distract ourselves with excuses about things that take precedence, or time we don’t have. We allow shiny objects and immediate gratification to be the boss of us. We prioritize unconsciously. We let our time to be sucked away by the vampires of social media or tv or electronic addiction, or get tangled up in thoughts about the past or anxiety about the future and wander around lost down that pit of despair.
Why do we experience all of this resistance?
It is because of fear – but it may not be the fear of what you think.
Our ego minds, or conditioned selves, have a very specific agenda for us. That part of our mind, which wants to be in control of us at all times, depends on us feeling bad about, well, everything. It is invested in us seeing ourselves as less-than, failing, not good enough; comparing ourselves unfavorably to others, feeling like frauds, thinking we don’t know what we’re doing, and generally being losers in at least one if not many area(s) of our lives. That’s what that internal critic is constantly telling us.
But the ego does not really believe that we are failures, or losers. That’s just its Wizard of Oz, man-behind-the-curtain fake-out to keep us from reaching for the highest and best in ourselves.
It is actually terrified that we will succeed, achieve, love ourselves, be empowered, feel amazing, live on purpose, be in alignment, recognize the truth of who we are, shine our light, recognize our Divinity, rock our joy, and ultimately that we will realize that it is full of sh*t, or as
A Course in Miracles puts it more poetically,
“Perceive any part of the ego’s thought system as wholly insane, wholly delusional, and wholly undesirable, and you have correctly evaluated all of it.”
One of the things that we often seem to have the most resistance to, and yet in my mind is the genesis of all of the rest of our resistance, (the piece de la resistance?) having the power to most significantly change our experience, is being committed to a spiritual practice. Making time to begin the day aligned with Spirit, centered in love, trusting that we are making a connection and being communicated with, and allowing the light of the intuitive guidance we receive to inform our doings in the world has a better shot at helping us overcome our resistance than the ego’s mindless rushing around like a crazy person, completely unconscious, unintentional, and disconnected – which just keeps us in it but not looking at it.
Whether meditation, or contemplative reading or journaling, or gratitude, or prayer, or whatever our practice is – if we are resisting investing time in our relationship with the Divine, the conditioned self or ego mind is happy to spend that time for us in resistance of something – or possibly everything – in our lives that makes us feel good.
As students of A Course in Miracles, our resistance often shows up in the way in which we practice – or don’t practice – the Course.
Like… we forget our daily Workbook lesson that we read 15 minutes ago.
Or we don’t remember that everyone is our brother, a reflection of ourselves, and a Divine being created by God – especially those bros that are pissing us off – and we think we have the right to judge them, believing that we, rather than Spirit, know what they should do, be or say.
Or we have complete amnesia that we ourselves are extensions of pure light and love, whole and innocent, the breath of Spirit – and we criticize and condemn ourselves, and feel guilty and bad and not good enough.
Or we resist the practice of forgiveness – you know, that one certain thing we can engage in to undo the ego mind and return our awareness to our true identity, our authentic self. Forgiveness is the process by which A Course in Miracles teaches us to reverse the ego mind’s belief that we are separate from our Creator and one another – small, limited, powerless and afraid. In resisting forgiveness, we prevent our return to sanity and the reclamation of our infinite, limitless wholeness and perfection that has temporarily escaped our awareness.
Basically, we resist love.
The ego mind or conditioned self is always coming from a place of fear, and it needs us to be afraid too. Conversely, the authentic self -that which is the truth of us, our beingness as a beloved creation of the Divine – is always coming from a place of love. They literally do not speak the same language, but they are both always speaking to us.
So what is the ego so afraid of that it would need to cause us to constantly undermine ourselves with resistance?
It is afraid that we will withdraw our allegiance to it. Our true understanding that the ego or conditioned self has no real power over us except that which we give to it would mean that its existence, and its ability to control us, is threatened. Fighting for its own survival is kind of a gigantic uber-motivator for the ego to therefore resist our recognition of that by throwing poo at us in hopes of derailing us. This poo includes sabotaging our efforts with fun activities like distraction, zoning out, forgetting, time mismanagement, procrastination, confusion, mistakes, deciding not to go for that big dream because it’s too expensive, we’re too old, we’re out of shape, it’s ridiculous to even think about, and the rest of its ongoing narrative of self-doubt, undermining, second-guessing, and inner bully and mean-girl tactics.
The only thing keeping that part of our minds alive, btw, is our fear-based determination not to let go of it, believing that it still has something to offer us. It tricks us into thinking that without it our lives would be terrible.
As A Course in Miracles states,
“You think that without the ego all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that without the ego, all would be love.”
If we insisted on adopting love’s agenda, and made the decision in every moment to choose love instead of fear – we would not be in resistance. If we jumped in every day with both feet determined to live from a place of trust, of forgiveness, in communion with our guidance from Spirit, navigating by love – knowing that a wisdom greater than our own is at work in our minds, guiding our thoughts, intentions, words and actions – there would be no fear, and no reason to resist.Forgive yourself for being in resistance. Click To Tweet
That is our ego mind’s greatest fear.
A Course in Miracles teaches us that the practice of forgiveness shifts our perception from fear to love. When we find ourselves in resistance, the most helpful thing we can do is forgive ourselves for not doing whatever we aren’t doing. In doing this, we are forgiving ourselves for the original mistake of believing that we have separated from Spirit. That is the only thing we need to forgive – it is merely represented by all of the other seeming things we are resisting doing.
I have been engaging in this kind of forgiveness myself lately. What I am noticing is that when I instead turn toward my true identity as my authentic self, when I acknowledge and embrace my holiness, when I prioritize my relationship with the God of my understanding, when I allow my Divinity to express into the world in the form of forgiving everything and everyone that disturbs my peace, including my resistance – my experience transforms.
Forgiveness – of self, of others, of circumstances and situations, of whatever we are holding responsible in our minds for love-blocking us – is our release. The result is that we feel the energy moving, we are inspired to take action toward our intentions, to move in the direction of where we want to go, to complete tasks related to things we want to get done, and in my own case – to stop making such a f*cking big deal out of whatever it is I am avoiding and just DO it already. We open to Spirit’s guidance, and become filled with a sense of well-being, of feeling good, of peace of mind. We have the experience of being in the flow, living on purpose, in alignment with who we really are – being who we came here to be and doing what we came here to do.
Thank you, my Comrades in Love, for attending my meeting of the Resistance Resistance today! I hope that this post helped you in some way to consider resisting your own resistance, and allowing yourself to move in the direction that Spirit is calling you to go. If so, please leave me a comment below. I LOVE hearing from you and I read every one.
As A Course in Miracles reminds us,
“For the little spark that holds the great rays within it is also visible, and this spark cannot be limited long to littleness.”
I love you without resistance.
Rev Kelly Russell,
Transformational Life Coach & Teacher of A Course in Miracles
Share this Post